Are you sure its Oscar season? Are you certain the holidays are almost upon us? I have my doubts. The reason for these doubts, you may ask, there are only four movies being released this week. This makes my job a whole lot easier, but it gives me a heavy heart in the process.
Where are you, good-movies? I know you're out there, but where?
(If you are a studio publicist or independent filmmaker with a film about to come out which is getting no press, e-mail me and I'll see what I can do.)
(If you are a studio publicist or independent filmmaker with a movie that you would actually like me to SEE before I review it, e-mail me and I'll see what I can do.)
$10 Candidates:
1) Last Samurai
2) The Two Towers
3) What Alice Found
Yes its true. I don't actually see these movies before I review them (my $10 is a very precious commodity and only goes to the most worthy of films). I read the synopsis, look at the cast and crew, and watch the trailer if possible. From there, I make my most educated guess as to its suitability for ridicule or recommendation. Usually ridicule.
Now my assessment of this week's films:
Last Samurai
This is the only actual Oscar contender for the week. That guy from Risky Business tries his hand at some real acting by playing a civil war vet with depression issues who is hired by the Japanese government to modernize their army and rid the country of samurais. Maverick gets captured by a samurai and learns to value their culture during his involuntary stay.
This is by far the healthiest candidate for my $10 (and it isn't even Manchurian).
Honey
A hip-hop dancer with a heart of gold tries to make it in the business on her own terms. Unless you're a die-hard Jessica Alba fan, go rent Flashdance or Fame. They're both classics that have withstood the test of time, which this film will not.
The Two Towers
This is just a re-release of the same film from last year. If you're one of those people who like to meet women on the Internet and plays Dungeons & Dragons on a regular basis, then you're going to see this again no matter what I say. So go, waste your $10, and cream yourself in anticipation for the last installment of the trilogy.
What Alice Found
A young small town girl with hopes of becoming a marine biologist hits the road to achieve her dreams. But, some dreams were meant to be crushed, so she gets picked up by a couple with an RV who drag her into the world of truck stop prostitution.
Truck stop prostitution? That's like being the janitor at Institute for the Digestion of Fiber. Your career path just can't get any worse.
This could suck, put the premise looks interesting.