The basic premise of this book is that Iggy Pop is actually two people. Jim Osterberg is the thoughtful, bookish intellectual and his alter ego Iggy Pop is the drug-fueled, sex-crazed, rock and roll monster. We’ve heard this story before. It starts off as the classic Dr. Jeckyll/Mr. Hyde, Professor Kelp/Buddy Love chemically induced transformation that goes terribly wrong when A) One identity has to take responsibility for the other ones actions, and B) The two start blurring together.
The author switches back and forth between the two too many times, but as a rule it’s “Iggy” onstage and “Jim” offstage. Then everything falls apart and starts over. It’s a bit much and I occasionally had to stop and think, “Who’s this Jim guy?”
David Bowie comes off fairly well in this book. He’s been accused of trying to steal Iggy’s soul, among other things, but is portrayed quite sympathetically here. Sure, he used his association with Iggy to gain street cred, but Iggy certainly benefited more from his association from Bowie. The “Lust For Life” album is rightfully presented as evidence for that. It’s not like either Iggy or Bowie has ever pleaded innocent to anything and I’ve carried the courtroom metaphors about as far as I can.
Most of the page space in this book is devoted to the most creative periods in Iggy’s career, like when the Stooges were together and the years in Berlin with Bowie.
In between creative surges, Iggy goes nuts. Seemingly every time he is on the verge of achieving greatness, he goes nuts and screws it up. Every time he establishes a mutually beneficial working relationship with somebody, something happens, he goes nuts, and he screws it up. He has a knack for self-sabotage.
The book sums everything since about 1987 briefly and succinctly until the recent reunion of the Stooges. It concludes with Iggy (or “Jim”) relaxing in his comfortable Miami bungalow. He has a Rolls-Royce and a twelve-foot-tall trophy girlfriend. Over the years, his back catalog has become quite valuable. The former honor student that was voted “most likely to succeed” finally has – but he crawled through every slimy gutter in the world to get there. He seems happy and I’m glad.

Since I started this book shortly after reading “Jagger Unauthorized, “ a mid-90’s hatchet-job by Christopher Andersen, I couldn’t help but make some comparisons between the Mick and the Ig. Both Iggy Pop and Mick Jagger are extremely clever and deviously smart people with pretensions of being both above and below their given stations, sometimes simultaneously. They both tend to use people and then cast them aside. They are both uniquely talented and have created recorded legacies consisting of both great art and total crap. They are also both carbon-based life forms, but that’s about it.
Where the two books differ is this – while The Jagger book goes out of it’s way to tell stories of Mick boinking every celebrity from Madonna to Mister Ed, the Iggy book is remarkably free of sleaze. It’s certainly not a white-wash, but it’s not a muck rake either. Since Iggy has never kept any secrets about anything, there’s no reason to go National Enquirer on him.

In summation, the Iggy book has a bittersweet, almost happy ending. Unlike most rock biographies, the subject doesn’t die at the end of the book. Iggy will probably end up fighting Keith Richards over who gets to eat the last cockroach on earth.

Happy Memorial Day, Comrades!

Here I sit at work, chained to my cubicle, on yet another national holiday. But I must, for it is the way of retail supply chain logistics.

Just please go out and buy some cheap plastic shit from China*, so that my work here is not in vain...

*including, but not limited to, toxic food, clothing, or over the counter medicines originating from our friends in the far east.

Frenzy hits SoCal this weekend!!!!

See Grease Demon Ent. for more info :-)

Cake or Death? Oh. I'm sorry we're all out of cake... I meant Death or Death.

A pal at work has been mind-raping me for the better part of the week with this little gem via inter-office IM:

btw, you've been RickRoll'd!!!

I have an H-bomb waiting for that smug bastard when he gets back in:
OMFG! You've just got Blazed!!!!1!!!!SHIFT1

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*btw, once you watch these videos, no matter how hard you may try, you will not be able to unwatch them.

I've been curious about whether or not Perez Hilton, the Gossip Ganstar tour-de-force and genius behind PerezHilton.com, gets paid to endorse the musical celebrities he touts so enthusiastically. Half the time, I think, no - he's too catty, too wickedly honest to be getting paid by a promoter, or God forbid, simply publishing press releases (I'm talking to you, OC Weakly). The other half of the time, I don't know - Hilton waxes so enthusiastic, so gushingly, that it makes you wonder.

Now, in this recent Newsweek article, Hilton says he doesn't get paid to post at all: "He insists he gets paid nothing for an endorsement—unless hanging out with celebrities counts as some kind of currency. "I get free clothes," he admits, "but no one's ever offered me money." Well, no one's offered me clothes, Perez, so count your blessings.

"I wish," says A&R Rep Jennifer Hirst of the post-for-pay idea, "because if that were the case he would just take any music we send." Um, yea. An A&R rep just now gets the idea to offer folks money for mentions? Mabye this lady's not the sharpest crayon in the box. It's called "payola" and it's been around a long time, lady.

But in a strange way, I want to believe Hilton when he says he doens't get paid. I want to believe that his "celebretard" crushes on folks like Mika, Lily Allen, and St. Brangelina are as real as his disdain for certain "hard pAArtying starlets." Because in this business, all you have is your name.

What do you think? Is it okay to take money for mentions?

A few Sundays ago, I bought a garbage bag full of cassette tapes at a yard sale. The asking price was $1.00. No haggling was involved. Not only did these items average out to roughly 1.13 cents apiece, but it is one of the oddest collections I've ever seen. There were a few VHS tapes thrown in for good measure, but I'll get to those later.

Okay, here they are. They are in order of maximum impact.

Adam and the Ants – Prince Charming
Adam and the Ants – Dirk Wears White Sox
Adam and the Ants – Kings of the Wild Frontier
Adam Ant – Strip
If Adam Ant faked his own death about 1981, he would be revered as a genius and a visionary. Instead, he made albums like “Prince Charming” and “Strip.” He is doomed to walk the earth, forever the dandy highwayman.

Generation X – s/t
This is one of my favorite albums of all time. I’ve owned it on cassette, LP, and CD. The first time I ever heard it was on 8-track. True story. Someone borrowed my original cassette copy about 1980 and never returned it. Now I have a replacement.

U2 – War
U2 – The Joshua Tree
How old am I? I remember when U2 was cool. When “War” came out in 1983, they were the bee’s knees and cat’s pajamas all rolled up into one short, white-flag-waving Irish guy with the best mullet on earth. By the time “Joshua Tree” was released a few years later, I was a couple years past caring. I thought “Joshua Tree” was boring. Twenty years later, it’s still boring.

Public Image Ltd. – cassette
This one is great. If you listen to the stereotypical 80’s production here – wanky guitar solos, big synths, fretless basses going “bawreeer, “ and monster-truck drums – you realize that any 80’s rock singer could have been on this album. Ozzy Osbourne, David Coverdale, Billy Idol, or even that big goofy Midnight Oil guy could have been singing over these backing tracks and no one would have raised an eyebrow.
Was Johnny Rotten trying to go commercial with this album or is it a parody of the genre? Who cares? It’s brilliant either way.

The Smiths – Meat is Murder
The Smiths – the Queen is Dead
I wasn’t a fan of the Smiths, but over the years I developed a certain respect for Morrissey. How could I not respect such great song titles as “Vicar in a Tutu” and “Barbarism Begins At Home?” I never noticed how much the Smiths sound like Pink Floyd – especially on “How Soon Is Now?”

The Cure – Standing On a Beach – the Singles
The Cure – The Head on the Door
The Cure – Japanese Whispers
I’ve always liked that little guitar riff in “Boys Don’t Cry.” Go ahead and make faces at me, it’s a good riff! Nothing I can say or do now would help to restore my dignity.
I used to think that “Love Cats” was by Dexy’s Midnight Runners, but the damage has already been done.

Depeche Mode – Music For the Masses
Next.

The Cult – Love
A little bit hippie, a little bit goth. They had their bases covered.

Echo and the Bunnymen – Songs to Learn and Sing
Echo and the Bunnymen – Ocean Rain
I liked Echo and the Bunnymens first album “Crocodiles,” but I never really paid attention to what they did after that. It’s too late to play catch-up now.

Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark – Crush
Weepy

Gene Loves Jezebel – Discover
To quote the Vandals “I don’t know Gene Loves Jezebel, but I know Joannie Loves Chachi.”

4 Non Blondes – What’s Up? (single)
I remember the video for this song. The singer wore a big hat and made funny faces. She sounded like Rush on steroids.

Go West = s/t
Go West was kind of like Wham without George Michael and with two of the other guy.

Andrew Dice Clay – Dice
How did this get in the same box as Go West and EMD?

Thompson Twins – Here’s to Future Days
How did this get in the same box as Andrew Dice Clay?

Erasure – Wonderland
See “Thompson Twins.”

Nik Kershaw – the Riddle
How? Why? What?

Violent Femmes – s/t
Everybody and their dog had this album. I had this album. My dog had this album. It’s pretty good, I guess. They have other albums, but no one has ever heard them.

New Order – Power, Corruption, and Lies
New Order – Brotherhood
Nothing here for me.

INXS – Listen Like Thieves
INXS – Shabooh Shoobah
I saw this band at a big festival once. The only thing I remember about them was that they kept saying “shabooh shabah.”

Yaz – Upstairs At Eric’s
“Don’t Go” was a catchy little song. Whoever owned this tape must have liked it because it is worn out.

Public Enemy – It takes a Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back
Here's where it gets interesting. I can’t think of a clever segue.

EPMD – Strictly Business
What does EPMD stand for? Every Puppy Makes Doodoo? Early Prompt Milk Delivery? Easter Precedes Mothers Day? I don’t know.

Sir Mix-a-lot – SWASS
Not bad. He has some pretty clever stuff. I believe he likes big butts.

Ice T – Power
What would Freud say about all these guns?

The 2 Live Crew – As Nasty As They Want to Be
But are they as nasty as I want them to be? Yeah, I think so.

N.W.A. and The Posse – s/t
N.W.A. – Straight Outta Compton
Eazy-E – Eazy Duz It
NWA should have sued the National Wrestling Association. I’m sure that must confuse some people that are not in the know.
Eazy E was in NWA. Eazy E? What kind of name is that for a wrestler?

MC A.D.E. and Posse – s/t
K9 Posse – s/t
The Posse – Chapter 2
What’s with all these posses? Posseses? Possi?
Here’s an idea – get eight of them together and call it “Octaposse.” They could work up some kind of James Bond thing. Nah, it’s too late. I missed the bandwagon.

Beastie Boys – Hey Ladies (single)
Beastie Boys – Licensed to Ill
Beastie Boys – Paul’s Boutique
Beastie Boys – Shake Your Rump (single)
I’ll admit to liking this.

Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock – It Takes Two
The poor mans Peaches and Herb

Al B. Sure – In Effect Mode
I don’t like his name. I’m not going to listen to this.

L’Trimm – Grab It!
They like the boys with the cars that go “boom.” Or something like that.

MC Hammer –Let’s Get It Started
This one will be multiple choice:
a. Now that I have an MC Hammer, I can MC Hammer in the morning and MC Hammer in the evening all over this land.
b. “Stop! Hamster Time!”

Kool Moe Dee – Knowledge is King
Kool Moe Dee – s/t
No one ever accused Kool Moe Dee of having low self-esteem.

Hostyle – Partners in Crime
Hostyle, dog style, whatever.

Bootsauce – Bull
Is this Bootsy Collins? I like Bootsy Collins. Maybe not.

Milli Vanilli – Girl You Know It’s True (single)
It’s a shame that these two harmless model/dancer/whatevers became the scapegoats of the whole sleazy music business. Instead of having their Grammy taken away from them, I think they should have received a lifetime achievement award. It’s only a Grammy – it’s not like it’s anything important like a bowling trophy.

DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince – I’m the DJ, He’s the Rapper
I think that “Fresh Prince” is the funniest euphemism for flatulence that I’ve ever heard.

The Time – Ice Cream Castle
The Time was the poor man’s Prince. Sort of like Barstow is the poor man’s Las Vegas.

Eric B. & Rakim – Follow the Leader
Eric B. & Rakim – Paid in Full
These guys could have used an editor. They take a long time to say nothing.

Run-DMC - Tougher Than Leather
This is pretty good. Not as good as “Rock It,” but it’s okay.

LL Cool J – Bad
I like this. He doesn’t rely on any tricks or gimmicks, he's just cool.

Esham’s Boomin – “Words From Hell” 1990
I don’t like the cover. I’m not going to listen to this.

King T – Act a Fool
I guess if you are King T, you can act a fool. If you are Mr. T, you pity the fool.

Tone Loc – Loc’ed After Dark
I like this. There’s more to this than “Wild Thing” and “Funky Cold Medina.” As if there needed to be.

Various Artists – Rhyme Syndicate Comin’ Through
I didn’t listen to this either.

The Stop the Violence Movement – Self Destruction (single)
Isn’t that kind of an oxymoron?

Big Daddy Kane – It’s a Big Daddy Thing
Big Daddy Kane – Long Live the Kane
Okay, this stuff is getting on my nerves

The D.O.C. – It’s Funky Enough (single)
I’ve had enough. I quit.

Here are a couple of the titles written on the home-recorded cassettes:
“Mind Control in America”
“Wake Up America”
and some other lectures by people I've never heard of.

Here are some titles of the videos:
“Cover-up in Oklahoma City”
“Waco – A New Revalation”
“America In Peril Part II – A Call to Arms”
"Randy Weaver"
and a few videos put out by the Michigan Militia. I hope you get the idea.
Of course I didn't see most of this until I got home and dumped the bag.

You figure out how all this stuff got in the same bag. I'm glad there was no porn.

Time Magazine reports that though HPV, or Human Papilloma Virus is usually more easily detectable in women than men, it seems the recent awareness of the HPV vaccine Gardasil has given rise to yet more research and related studies. There is still so much the medical world doesn't know about virus and it's ability to mutate and affect body organs.

"The study, which appears in this week's New England Journal of Medicine (NEJM), shows that men and women who reported having six or more oral-sex partners during their lifetime had a nearly ninefold increased risk of developing cancer of the tonsils or at the base of the tongue. Of the 300 study participants, those infected with HPV were also 32 times more likely to develop this type of oral cancer than those who did not have the virus. These findings dwarf the increased risk of developing this so-called oropharyngeal cancer associated with the two major risk factors: smoking (3 times greater) or drinking (2.5 times greater). HPV infection drives cancerous growth, as it is widely understood to do in the cervix. But unlike cervical cancer, this type of oral cancer is more prevalent in men."

Today I saw a group of Presbyterians sitting on the front porch of their church. If you're a die-hard Robert Earl Keen fan, you'll understand why that's hysterical. If not, I can't help you.

The Presbyterians weren't in their underwear, though. That would have been even funnier.

Hey folks,

Listen. I worked really hard today. Really hard. And even though I like most of you, I would probably paint a boat with your blood if I thought it was going to get me home to a tasty dinner a little bit sooner. You'll have to forgive me. All I really want right now is dinner, and to curl up on my floor, next to my stereo, and the Neal Stephenson book I'm currently reading.

Though I DID buy my plane tickets/make my hostel reservations to go see "77 Drum" in NYC in July. So. I gotta feel a little good about that, right?

Mogwai – Zidane: A 21st Century Portrait (PIAS America)
This here is the Mogwai-penned soundtrack to a documentary about French soccer player/headbutt machine Zinedine Zedane. Did you guys see that headbutt during the final World Cup match? I'm surprised I remember it, as I was over at Ani and Scarlett's house with Lynly and several other KUCI folks. We were taking a shot of beer every minute of the entire game, and I think Lynly may have literally pissed herself in excitement over a near-goal. At any rate, I'm sure you kids are familiar with the musical works of Mogwai by this point. This album is their mellow side, no real face-melters here, but they do get a little noisy at points. Generally, though, it's an atmospheric, moody collection of tunes. It IS a soundtrack, after all. For extra giggles, here is a photoshop contest of Zidane's headbutt from the World cup. Some are, of course, much better than others.

Shapes and Sizes – Split Lips, Winning Hips (Asthmatic Kitty)
I think this MAY be the first release on Sufjan Stevens' Asthmatic Kitty label to have a song with OPI on it. This band was one of my CMJ highlights, simply because it was so unlike anything I had seen yet. They were clearly an indie/rock/pop band, but they seemed to almost be doing whatever they wanted up there. Play some normal indie rock. Then stop and just, you know, whistle for a bit. Then just beat the living shit out of your instruments. Then play this sick guitar hook under interesting vocal lines. My brain was reeling to comprehend it because, while it was clearly rooted in normal indierock, it just…didn't seem to make sense. It SHOULDN'T have hung together. It should have fallen apart. But they gamely pressed on and made some fantastic tunes and I was a fan. The recorded product seems less volatile and unstable, but it's still something new for you.

Dungen – Tio Bitar (Kemado)
Another plastic disk full of gently psychedelic Swedish rock for you. I think everyone loved their last album except for me, so I'm probably not the dude to tout this to you. But, basically, everyone collectively shit their pants over this band's last effort. So, if you hate my taste, perhaps that's a sign that this is definitely the album for you. Even if you agree with me, know that I am frequently "wrong" and you absolutely adore this band. Of course, we must always remember that taste is subjective and yadda yadda yadda. Basically, if Swedish psych-rock-pop sounds good to you, check this album out. Don't listen to what I say.

Mice Parade – Mice Parade (Fat Cat)
I have to admit that this is one of those bands that somehow slipped through my musical fingers for all of these years. I've been aware of them for a long time, I just never got around to checking them out. Basically, it's a sort of IDM/post-rock/indie kind of thing. Four Tet meets Mum meets Do Make Say Think. Does that sound pretty and rhythmically interesting to you? Good. I've done my job. What else sounds pretty to you? A solid gold baby covered holding a balloon made of love? That's weird. Why would you think of that?

Battles – Mirrored (Warp)
I don't know where to start describing this band. Minus Numbers John used the term "effects-laiden". It's dudes from Don Caballero, Tomahawk/Helmet, and some other bands doing rhythm-heavy math-rock-experimental-pop. It's really accessible for being as weird as it is. Crazy drumming and guitar playing and such. It's just…an exciting album. !!! meets Don Caballero meets Prefuse 73 meets Lightning Bolt? Seriously. This is some nonsense. Nonsense of the highest order. The seven-winged seraphim of nonsense.

People for Audio – The New Ancients (Storyboard)
Shortcut time: this is from Canada. Not Wolf Parade Canada. Godspeed/Besnard Lakes/DMST Canada. It's really beautiful and mellow. The label says "humble pack-porch sing-along jams to grandiose psych rock masterpieces". Sure. That'll do.

Mystery Jets – Zootime (Dim Mak)
It's Brit-Pop! I'm tired!

Black Moth Super Rainbow – Dandelion Gum (Graveface)
Their last collaborative album did really well when I added it, so I'm giving you their new full-length. It's like Olivia Tremor Control meets M83. A little noisy. A little keyboardy. A lotta poppy. While I would put this down as experimental pop, a lot of the similar bands are sort of off-kilter electronic stuff. I'm sorry this isn't more interesting. I assure you it's a worthwhile album. I gotta go get food. Promise.

<3,

Kyle

The Society for the Diffusion of Useful Information is pleased to announce:

Miss Janet Klein & Her Parlor Boys at The Museum of Jurassic Technology

Saturday, May 26th 6:30 p.m. & 8:30 p.m.
advance tickets available HERE

For this intimate performance, Miss Klein will present an evening of rarely performed selections from her repertoire of obscure, lovely, & naughty tunes from the teens, twenties, & thirties, & will be accompanied by Benedict Brydern on violin & John Reynolds on guitar.

The Museum of Jurassic Technology
9341 Venice Boulevard
Culver City, CA 90232
www.mjt.org

$17 General admission
$14 Museum members, students, seniors

My significant other calls me "80% Wanda" because I never finish anything. Filled with creative energy, I start hundreds of projects, complete about 80%, then stop. I get excited and move on to another project. Material cut out waits to be sewn, towels sit, half-embroidered, and scrapbooks linger with photos waiting to be affixed to their pages.

But no more!

My summer resolution is to tackle all the unfinished projects around the house, from the Halloween scrapbook to the baby onesie that currently won't fit the baby it was intended for (no matter, there are plenty of babies around).

I vow to take on these projects before starting another, and to post the results here. So there!

My first finished project was this embroidered t-shirt - the Howdylicious! T-shirt, or Shirtalicious! I must have started this two years ago after seeing a similar t-shirt for over $150 at Nordstrom. I actually completed the embroidery (the hardest part), then got distracted and never glued on the rhinestones. I also never wore the t-shirt. But finally it's done! And while I think it could use some more embroidery, I think it's pretty damn cute.

Here's the detail:

And the back:

What do you think?

When should you Do It Yourself, and when should you leave it to a professional? After all, if we never tried to do things ourself, we would probably still be toddling around naked drinking juice from a sippie cup and waiting for our mom to dress us (which doesn't sound half bad, but still...).

I never try to DIY when it comes to automotive repair, dental or medical situations, and most electrical repairs. Now that I'm a homeowner, I'm pretty brave about DIY plumbing, and a few good books will tell you whether or not you're looking at a simple repair (patching plaster, changing a plug or fuse, or changing out the guts of a toilet), or a major job requiring more tools than you own and a certification from a State Board. But how else do you know when to DIY and when to GAP (Get a Professional)?

There's degree of difficulty, and then there's degree of mystery: I have no idea how to do this, I have no idea what that noise is, I have no idea where the leak is located, or I have no idea why there is no water pressure or even how to begin checking. Yikes.

Degree of difficulty is one thing, but it can't be the only criteria, or we'd never try to do things that were difficult. I also go with experience: has anyone done this before? It helps to have a few handy friends that can give you advice like, "man, that's a bitch, you'd better call a plumber" or the famous last words: "I think we can fix it."

On the other hand, I have friends that are much more adventurous than I am when it comes to all things DIY: cooking, clothing, auto repair, and hair styling are a few areas that come to mind. And while I've colored/bleached/cut my hair for more years than you've probably been alive, I currently prefer to leave the mess to a professional, as I'm busy DIYing in other areas of my life.

What brought it all home to me was a recent encounter with a friend that started me thinking about when we should DIY and when we should consult a professional. Recently, I ran into a (formerly brunette) friend that was a new blonde. "Wow! I almost didn't recognize you!" I said. Translated; you look so different I don't know what to say. "Yeah," she sighed. "It seemed like a good idea, but I should've used a professional."

Famous last words.

Here's another reason I enjoy being a girl: the retro, adorable stylings of Cece Marie!

Frilly Aprons! Swingy skirts! All things girly, floral, and fun!

I'm imagining what cute hostess gifts, bridal shower items, and Mother's Day gifts these will make. There are all types of aprons, headbands, and things for wee girlies too! You can find Cece Marie online at her web store, or at Etsy.

Kurt Halsey's unabashedly romantic, wistful designs will be featured in a solo show at Gallery 1988 in Los Angeles, May 17 - June 15, 2007.

Don't be afraid to fall in love with these images.

Have you ever found yourself suddenly obsessing over first painting and then beads? Beads? Where did beads get into the painted picture? Big ones, medium ones, small ones, you name it...beads have taken over my life - well, almost! I juggle the paint tubes and bead tubes side by side. I use Folk Art Paint and Swarovski crystals, and have been making all kinds of pretty things - things most people are surprised that I have the patience to do. I work with copper, silver and gold fill, and all kinds of BEADS, BEADS, BEADS! Then, I work with canvas and glass, and wood too. Whatever it is, I have become my own jeweled and painted fashionista!

One day, I sat down and pondered for two minutes and then decided to create Cin-d-Lite Designs. Yes, in case you haven't figured it out by now, I'm here to plug my own lil' company. I do a combination of floral/scenic painting crafts and jewelry designs, and love it! If you'd like to see my creations please contact me here at Barflies.net, or at cindesigns@gmail.com. Thanks!

Here's a bit of a sneak peek. I love feedback and comments. Thanks for allowing me to introduce my creations to you!

"The Country Music Necklace"
Asian Persuasion bracelet!

There's always room for a beautiful bouquet of flowers

Turquoise Delight! What goes better together than copper and turquoise?

Lavender Jade - the stone of longevity and mental clarity, or just pretty to look at?
Lighthouse on the Seashore