In late September, I got myself a parking ticket. It was a situation I'm sure we're all familiar with...running to put more money in the meter, just as the L.A.D.O.T. has completed writing up your ticket. And if that weren't enough, I was also lucky enough to have not removed the Marine Corps moto front plate that the previous owner (a good friend of mine) had put on. Thus, equalling not only one, but two tickets!

Now, I thought I would be an asshole back to the traffic cop who had issued me not only one, but two tickets. I thought that I would pay the fine without correcting the violation - surely THAT would show him! Until the same friend who sold me the truck and put the U.S.M.C. plate on the front of the truck informed me that they could suspend my license if I didn't fix it. So much for being passive aggressive.

So, I called the violations bureau, and explained that I'd already mailed in the ticket, so what should I do to correct this? I was told that they'd mail me a letter - which would arrive in 3-5 business days - and that I could have any law enforcement officer sign off on it. Note: ANY LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER. That's what I was told when I called.

Ten days later, no letter had arrived, so I called back, and after explaining my situation again, I was told that they'd mail me another letter, which arrived five days later. It was dated October 15th. Ironically, on the same day, I received a second letter on the same day. It was dated October 2nd. Hmmmm.....

A week later, when I had a chance to visit the North Hollywood Police Department (I'd been told "any law enforcement officer," remember?), I was told that they couldn't sign off on fix-it tickets, but they very kindly handed me a list of four places in the Valley that I could go to correct my violation.

The following Tuesday, I stopped by one of those locations, the Burbank Sherriff's Office, parked my truck in the appropriate location, and went in. A very nice Sherriff's Deputy agreed to look at my vehicle, and then told me to visit the office to my right to have it signed off. However, since I presented her the letter that the City of Los Angeles had sent me, and not the actual ticket, she told me I'd have to go to Department 100 to get a copy of the actual ticket. But Department 100 told me that because the ticket was from the Parking Violations Bureau, they didn't have access to the ticket and couldn't get a copy of it. I went back to the office, explained that Department 100 couldn't get a copy of the ticket, so she walked back to talk to her supervisor. I could overhear her supervisor impatiently telling her, "What have I told you? If you have the plate number and the citation number, you can sign off on it." So she did. And after paying the Sherriff's Department $15 for their help, I mailed my now signed-off letter, plus another $10 to the City of Los Angeles, I realized why this frustrating situation - in which everyone I talked to had different information - seemed so familiar. It was because IT WAS EXACTLY LIKE GOING TO A SHOW AT THE HOUSE OF BLUES.