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March 1, 2005
We Will Rock You - The Musical by Queen
Le Theatre Des Arts
Paris, Las Vegas
We Will Rock You is set in a future time when one mega-corporation runs the government, all commerce, and all culture. In other words, it takes place about 4:30 tomorrow afternoon. The narrator is an old hippie librarian that looks like the singer of Blue Cheer. He tells a story about a sacred guitar buried in stone and the chosen one destined to remove it. In other words, the story is stolen from the King Arthur/Excalibur legend – with parts of “The Road Warrior”, “Waterworld”, and “Herbie Goes Bananas” thrown in.
Here’s how it goes. The hero, Galileo, gets kicked out of a boy band or something and decides to become a rebel like Robbie Williams. He meets an annoying Valley Girl that becomes his love interest. Together, they run from villains that look like William Shatner and Tina Turner. They meet up with a bunch of other outcasts and they all sing Queen songs. Then a giant monster comes out of nowhere and eats everybody.
Okay – there is no story. The whole thing is a bunch of awkward segues in between completely unrelated songs. The dialogue, written by British comedy writer Ben Elton (who created “The Young Ones”), is actually funny. It was obviously dumbed down for American audiences but it still went over the heads of most of the crowd. I’m sure I was the only one in the theatre that caught a Mott the Hoople
reference. To quote Homer Simpson, “I am so smart, S-M-R-T!”
If you’re a Queen fan, you probably won’t like it.
Instead of using GOOD Queen songs – like the first six albums (I draw the line at “News of The World”), they lean heavily on dippy ballads from the 80’s. Songs like “Liar”, “Keep Yourself Alive” and “Stone Cold Crazy” would be great show-tunes but they get left out. The show unfortunately contains glop like “These Are The Days of Our Lives”. Nobody likes that.
There are lots of big ridiculous production numbers with dancing and flashy costumes, but no tits. I liked it anyway.
I would rather see this than “Tommy”(songs by The Who), “Mama Mia”(songs by Abba), “Movin’ Out”(songs by Billy Joel), or “Smokey Joe’s Café”(songs by Lieber and Stoller), which are some of the other twelve billion “Rock” musicals that I am aware of.
What’s next? Probably “Takin’ Care of Business” based on the songs of Bachman Turner Overdrive or “Come On Baby, Light My Fire” based on the songs of The Doors.
Why stop there? I’m on a roll. How about “Maneater” with songs by Hall and Oates? I would suggest “You Can Still Rock in America” based on the music of Night Ranger.
Do you like punk rock? I give you “Manimal” based on the songs of the Germs and “Gimme Gimme Gimme” with music by Black Flag. Imagine the choreography.
For Country and Western fans I recommend “Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound”, “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”, or “Achy-Breaky Heart”. I quit. Feel free to send your own suggestions.
Here’s my advice if you absolutely must see “We Will Rock You”. Go to one of those half-price places on the strip and get cheap tickets. Make sure to buy a couple of drinks before the show because there is no intermission.
Posted by Big Kev at March 1, 2005 7:37 PM
