« Shooter Jennings @ The Troubadour: December 8, 2005 | Main | Best of 2005 (and the end of 2004) »
December 14, 2005
Record Weirdo: My Favorite Christmas Albums
The Cast of "Bonanza": "Christmas on the Ponderosa"
RCA 2757
An entertaining concept album. The scenario is this: the whole town decides to invite themselves over to the Cartwright ranch to get themselves crocked on applejack and have a hoe-down. Ben, Hoss, and Little Joe just happen to have some songs rehearsed and proceed to perform them in order to appease the unruly mob and keep them from trashing the place. One neighbor however, isn't content to settle for free food and liquor. She spends the whole album trying to seduce old man Ben. If she looks anything like she sounds, he did the right thing in not taking the bait.
Ben (Lorne Greene) only sings a couple of songs here and they're short, novelty kind of numbers. They certainly lack the bombastic epics of his solo albums or the drama of his hit gunfighter narrative "Ringo".
Hoss (Dan Blocker) sings "Deck the Halls" in a flat, loud monotone and then promptly passes out face first into his eggnog.
The real star of the show here is Little Joe (Michael Landon). His version of "Santa Got Lost in Texas" transports the listener right out of the old west and straight into a seedy Las Vegas lounge. His pitch challenged crooning is magnificently evocative of all things smarmy and retro-cool.
Stan Boreson and Doug Setterberg: "Stan and Doug Yust Go Nuts at Christmas"
Golden Crest Records
A masterpiece from these two square-headed Norskie comic geniuses. The album is chock-full of Christmas standards as seen from a Scandanavian-American point of view. Parodies like "Yingle Bells", and "Uncle Sven is coming to Town" offer a rare glimpse into the culture of this often misunderstood ethnic minority. But I guess that anybody who would eat lutefisk is bound to remain misunderstood.
My favorite on this is "The Christmas Party", which is similar to the version recorded by Yogi Yorgeson. Lines like "All night long, Mr. Olsen's loud voice is blaring/He stands by the Smorgasborg shouting 'Silent Night'/with his mouth full of pickled herring" are pure poetry. Stan Boreson's red hot accordion riffs are highlighted throughout.
The Ventures: "The Ventures Christmas Album"
Liberty Records
The best Christmas album of all time. If you've never heard it, then you just wouldn't understand.
Elvis Presley: "Elvis' Christmas Album"
RCA Records (Camden/Pickwick re-issue)
An odd mix of the sacred and the profane. Reverent versions of "Silent Night" and "Oh Little Town of Bethlehem" are sandwiched between rocking songs like "Santa Bring My Baby Back to Me" and bluesy raunch like "Santa Claus is Back in Town".
"Blue Christmas" is a classic as it very well should be, but whomever it was that decided to put "Mama liked the Roses" on the re-issues of this album should be drawn and quartered. It's horrible. If you happen to eat too much Christmas turkey or drink too much wassail, just listen to "Mama Liked the Roses" and you'll bring it all back up and feel much better. If you have any recovering bulimics in your family, this song should be avoided at all costs.
Elvis Presley: "Elvis Sings the Wonderful World of Christmas"
RCA Records
Most of this album drags like a one dead horse open sleigh. The arrangements are maudlin and overbearing and Elvis sings like he's got a mouth full of peanut butter and pills. However, "Merry Christmas Baby" is just plain great. It starts off as a subdued blues and gradually builds momentum until it rocks like a mad dog. It has some amazing James Burton guitar solos and once Elvis wakes up, he lets go with some inspired bellowing. This song is the album's only redeeming factor. To hear this song in a better context, you should get the "Reconsider Baby" Elvis compilation album (RCA 5418). It's the same recording, but instead of fading out at 5:45, it chugs along for a rollicking 6:28.
Don Ho: "The Don Ho Christmas Album"
Reprise
Not content to take the easy way out and simply record his own versions of the same old Christmas standards (even though "Silver Bells" and "A Christmas Song" are included), this album was an attempt by Ho to create and popularize new standards. "Mele Kalikimaka" might have been as big as "Feliz Navidad", but it just didn't happen. Nonetheless, it was a noble effort and the album is an enjoyable listen.
I don't want to say it but I have to, Ho Ho Ho.
Sometimes I kick myself for selling my copy of the "Colonel Sanders Christmas Album." It is now in the hands of a record collector in Tacoma, WA. Her name is Shirley and she brags of having over 1 million records. If I ever go back there, I'll have to track her down.
My Favorite Christmas 45's
Dr. Seuss: "You're a mean one Mr. Grinch"
Mercury (green vinyl)
A perennial favorite. this is the same version from the great animated feature left intact as a complete song instead of being chopped up into little bits like in the show. It swings like crazy and the lyrics are brilliant. The singer is not credited and I forget his name, but it's the same guy that did the voice of Tony the Tiger.
Girl Trouble: "Blue Christmas" and "Sleigh Ride" b/w Kings of Rock: "X-Mess"
Regal Select (blue vinyl)
This is very nice. The Girl Troubles do loose but respectful versions of Elvis's "Blue Christmas" and the Ventures style "Sleigh Ride". The Kings of Rock side of the single is funny, once.
Jose Feliciano: "Feliz Navidad" b/w "Little Drummer Boy"
RCA
Catchy little ditty, catchy enough to drive you bats. And then, just when you think it stops -- it starts all over again!!!
Paul McCartney: "Wonderful Christmastime"
b/w "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reggae"
Columbia
One listen to this makes it obvious that Ringo was the brains behind the Beatles.
Mike Love and Dean Torrence: "Jingle Bell Rock" b/w Paul Revere and the Raiders: "Jingle Bells"
Hitbound Records (sic)
This is bad--REALLY BAD. I like the Beach Boys, Jan & Dean, and the Raiders as much as the next guy and more than any normal person, but the world would be a better place if this record never existed. It's that bad.
And before you ask, NO, you can't have my copy.
The Singing Dogs: "Jingle Bells"
RCA
Everybody in the world hates this except me. Maybe that's why I like it.
***Authors note***
Most of this article originally appeared in the Record Weirdo Newsletter late last century. I believe in recycling - especially in times of writer's block.
Posted by Big Kev at December 14, 2005 05:47 PM
