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June 6, 2006

Hank III @ The Roxy: June 2, 2006


There were 200 too many people at the Hank III show at The Roxy Friday night (Thanks for the tickets Johnny Angel!). Who are all those freaks? And do they have to have a COCKTAIL waitress roaming through the crowd? Yes, they do. We had to move to the LEFT of the stage to avoid being trampled by Tall People, and then we were on JOE BUCK'S side of the stage. That's why all the pictures are of Joe Buck. Well, that, and he's like 10x more visually interesting than Hank III, who just stands there. Southbound finds Joe Buck scary. Very scary. And I can't say I blame her. He's always screamin things like "I'm gonna KILL you Muther Fuckers" or maybe it was "I'm gonna EAT you Muther Fuckers." I'm not sure. He was with Th' Legendary Shack Shakers for like, a minute, and the dumbest thing I did was not to buy us those "Joe Buck Yourself" ringers when I saw them in Seattle. But they were brown. And ringers. And they had his picture on them! Like I said, scary.

These crazy drunk girls got on stage without tops. One had stars on her nipples, maybe they were stickers. We were on the JOE BUCK side of the stage, what can I say? The bouncers (if you could call them that) were slow about removing these women, which gave them time to shimmy around drunkenly. They were skinny and had saggy boobs, so even though my pictures are lame, you're not missing much, really. Then there was a fight. Hank III stopped the show. Then he invited this gal up on stage to sing with him. I'm guessing the temperature was about 120 in the Roxy, because it was about 97 outside. I felt like a kid who gets left in the car with the windows cracked. I mean, you're not supposed to do that, right? Plus, we were by the men's restroom, and that's a terrible place to be, unless you're a man who needs to go to the bathroom. When AssJack started, we left.

When we got outside, one of the drunk girls was outside (with her top on). The bouncer had thrown her out for getting up on stage maybe four times and staggering around with her bouncy nipples. She was wearing tight jeans and those suede boots that lace up the front. In high school, we would have called her a "hessian" but she had short hair. "You are NOT cool," she told the bouncer. She could barely stand up. She staggered off down the side walk. "NOT cool at all."

Posted by DJWanda at June 6, 2006 11:04 PM