Someone needs to beat the studio execs into submission until they fully and unquestioningly understand the notion that part of what makes democracy such a riot is freedom of choice. How can we exercise this right without VARIETY? Itís like a MilkyWay without the caramel. All you have is a Three Musketeers, which is a completely different animal.
This week there is only one obvious choice for my $10, and it stars my favorite Spanish slave with an Australian accent. The good lord had a hand in creating him.
1) Master and Commander
2) The Big Empty
3) Tupac: Resurrection
Master and Commander
A hundred men. One boat. Months at sea. Are you sure they're not gay?
Russell Crowe is ready set the hearts of the world a flutter as Lucky Jack, the Captain of an English Navy vessel in 1805. There are storms, fight scenes, and explosions. With those elements and the direction of Oscar winner Peter Weir, we have all the makings of an excellent waste of two hours.
Looney Toons: Back in Action
Who green lighted this? Who in their right mind thought this was a good idea?
Cartoons and washed up actors save the world from an evil corporation. Commie bastards.
Tupac: Resurrection
If you like rap, if you're a Tupac fan, here is the film for you. Apparently itís filled with original songs, poetry, and interviews.
The Big Empty
Jon Favreau (Swingers, Made) stars as failing actor John Person, sent to the middle of nowhere to deliver a package and make some easy money.
Hmmm. Art imitates life?
Anything But Love
Our leading lady is lounge act at the airport Howard Johnson hotel and has to choose between the stuffy rich lawyer and the scruffy poor piano teacher.
Cheesy and predictable. As natural together as a smoker with a hacking cough.