Barflies.net :: Art / Design

And what and orgasm it is too. Now this is the kind of Oscar week that I've been waiting for. Three nomination candidates at once. Where have you been for the past month? This is like having rich Brie after weeks of starvation. I could make myself sick from such a sudden infusion of nourishment.

Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
I don't think I even have to bother with a synopsis. If you don't know what its about, then you've been living in a cave for the past three years and probably don't even have the sense to know what a computer is, let alone internet access, and therefore do not have the means to view my ravings.
Go and see it. It will not be a waste of your $10.

Mona Lisa Smile
That hooker from Pretty Woman has gone straight and become an art teacher at Wellesley, a private girls college, during the 50's. Most of her students are on their way to becoming good wives and bear their husbands strong sons, but that little whore shows them that they have options and can achieve far more than just the perfect soufflÈ.
This is the most obvious chick flick I have ever laid eyes on. Ladies, good luck dragging your man to this one. Grab a girlfriend and enjoy. Who needs men anyway?

The Cooler (Wide Release)
I reviewed this before, and while I think itís probably a good movie, it just can't compete with what else is available. Catch it on cable in a couple months.

House of Sand and Fog
An ex-junkie loses her family home in an accounting error by the county, and by the time she gets her act together and hires a lawyer to help her correct the mistake, the house is auctioned off to a family of Iranian immigrants. Both parties believe they are in the right and take desperate measures to regain or keep what they believe is theirs.
The home is a central figure of the "American Dream," and this film makes a careful examination of that fact. Not an upper, but well worth my $10.

Calendar Girls
The women of a small English town take up arms and pose nude in a local charity calendar to raise money for cancer research.
Have you ever wanted to see your grandma naked? Then go see this movie you sick bastard.

The Fog of War
This documentary takes a look at pivotal moments in recent US history as seen through the eyes of the former Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara.
I wouldn't mind forcing Donald Rumsfeld to watch this little downer Clockwork Orange style.

The Hebrew Hammer
I have actually seen this. It was on Comedy Central last week and I LOVED it. Adam Goldberg plays a Shaft type character that watches out for the fellow members of the tribe. Andy Dick plays an anti-Semitic Santa who is out to destroy Chanukah and the Hammer must do whatever it takes to stop him.
Good luck finding this Certified Circumcised Private Dick (its not rated), but it will certainly be well worth it. The best Chanukah film since.... since.... ummm, I can't recall a good Chanukah film. This could be our last hope!

Two Men Went to War
This is about English army dentists during World War II. I think you can safely say the WW2 genre is dried out when they start making films about dentists.