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December 26, 2003

December 26th Film Releases

Sorry for the delay. The holidays ran away with my Thursday and I'm just now catching up. But don't worry, I paid for my tardiness in spades by seeing the worst movie of the year - Paycheck. Don't ask me how I wound up there, but let's just say that my friend's movie picking privileges have been revoked. Possibly for good.

1) Cold Mountain
2) Monster
3) Big Fish

Runner Up: Japanese Story
Made me want to puke: Paycheck

A lot of movies being released this week and out of all of them, I went to see Paycheck in the theater. What on earth was going through my head?! I could say that I didn't pick it, but I didn't fight very hard against it either. I saw the signs - BenLo, and, and.... well, I guess BenLo was all the reason I needed to avoid this film. Is he even smart enough to carry an intelligent script? I doubt it.

Cold Mountain
Young lovers, Inman (Jude Law) and Ada (Nicole Kidman), have really bad names and equally awful luck. Just as their mutual adoration begins to bloom, Inman gets called off to war for the Confederate Army whose causes he doesn't really believe in, and Ada's father dies leaving her to fend for herself when the only useful thing she's been taught to do is sit there and look pretty (she's a pro at looking pretty). Ada waits for Inman (she's also a professional at waiting) and Inman deserts the forces of the South. Much unhappiness and self-discovery ensues.

Cheaper by the Dozen
Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt play the parents of 12 children. Either they're devoutly Catholic and sex crazed (which is physically impossible after a dozen pregnancies) or there is a secret sweatshop in the basement and this is their way of getting around child labor laws.
Anyways, it's not getting my $10.

Peter Pan
Another film for the modern nuclear family. Complete with dazzling special effects. Unless it can beat what I can get at Blockbuster from the good folks at Disney, then it’s not worth my $10.

Paycheck
BenLo plays a reverse engineer whose running for his life because he made a machine that can see into the future, and now he must destroy it before it is used to annihilate all of mankind. There, I've given away the "secret" plot, now you have no reason to waste your money on this pile of crap.
The only mystery that remains is how Uma Thurman went from Kill Bill to this.

Big Fish
Yummy Billy Cudrup is trying to make amends and learn more about his estranged dying father who tells nothing but long-winded exaggerated stories that only vaguely resemble the truth. Tim Burton does a wonderful job in bringing all the tales to the screen with all their wonder and surrealism.
This is a solid $10 contender.

The Company
Neve Campbell plays a ballet dancer on the verge of becoming a prima ballerina, but distractions via her hunky boyfriend (James Franco) and other outside forces inhibit her progress. Ah the joys of being a starving artist. No thanks, its business school for me!

Monster
I have heard nothing about good things about this movie. Charlize Theron plays a man hating serial killer who stalks her pray as a highway prostitute (which isn't much better than being a truck stop prostitute except there's more of a danger of being run over). Christina Ricci plays Theron's lesbian lover who gets caught up in the mess.
Not a date movie, but it is good for exploring the dark depths of the human soul.

Young Black Stallion
This is a prequel to the Black Stallion series from the 80's. A young girl uses a unproven colt she found in win an endurance race and save her family.
It's only playing on IMAX screens, so good luck even finding it.

Japanese Story
I don't know much about this movie. From what I've seen of the trailer and the clips being released on the net, it looks pretty good. I think Toni Collette in an amazing actress who chooses good, challenging scripts. This one is about an Australian geologist who has to play babysitter to a Japanese businessman who is considering purchasing her company's software. At first they don't get along, but after a tour of the Australian Outback, they become attracted to one another.

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