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February 26, 2004

February 27th Film Releases

Will you shut up about Jesus already! I've had enough. I don't want to listen to another word about anti-Semitism, anti-Romanism, or sadomasochism. If I hear one more whine about how Mel Gibson portrayed some group unfairly, I'll nail myself to a cross.
It's a movie people. Not a weapon of mass destruction.

1) Good Bye, Lenin!
2) The Passion of the Christ
3) Broken Lizard's Club Dread

All this hoopla and controversy, and I still end up recommending a foreign film. This is not exactly an endorsement of the domestic film industry. I guess I'm still waiting to be impressed.

The Passion of the Christ
One critic called it "The Bloodiest Story Ever Told" and I think he had a point. This is supposed to be a very literal portrayal of nothing but the crucifixion. Compelling? Yes. Moving? Undoubtedly. Enough gore to make you want to hurl? Possibly.

Twisted
A female homicide investigator is being stalked by a serial killer who is murdering all of her ex-boyfriends. Why can't I have this problem?

Broken Lizard's Club Dread
Another serial killer movie, only it's a comedy that takes place on a hedonistic resort in the tropics.
A multiple beer/low brain cell movie, but sometimes that's okay.

Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights
Remember how we loved the original Dirty Dancing movie when we were kids? "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." Have you seen it recently? Now that we're all grown up? I have, and I switched half way through because I couldn't believe how awful it was. This is a direct copy and it doesn't even try to hide it, and I expect it to be just as awful.

Good Bye, Lenin!
Just before the Berlin Wall comes down a young East German man's mother falls into a coma. She awakens after the Cold War and the doctors warn the son that she mustn't be traumatized in any way. So, he goes about a comedy of errors of trying to hide the fact that capitalism has taken hold of East Berlin.
It was a huge hit in Germany and is supposed to be exceptionally funny. I recommend it highly.

Posted by xx - Ms. Lauren - xx at 8:38 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 23, 2004

Today's Keyword: Pre-Fab

A new magazine devoted to the pre-fabish homes of yesteryear.....

AND

An online community dedicated to the pre-fab homes of today and tomorrow....

AND

Competition for the best in pre-fab housing, sponsored by Dwell Magazine

Posted by Lucky at 5:29 PM | TrackBack

February 22, 2004

The New Barflies.net Message Board 4.0

In an effort to stem the rising tide of spam of all varieties, I have with trepidation departed from Matt's open source Message Board after 5 years of use to a Php/MySQL style Message Board that requires registration of email before posting. Barflies.net has now joined the 21st Century or even 1999... ;o)

I would like to invite all of you to please join the new Barflies.net Message Board and post away! Don't be shy! Be lively!

Posted by Ms. Jen at 11:16 PM | TrackBack

February 21, 2004

Road To.. / Macabre Fest / Drop Dead LA / American Nightmare

Posted by xx - aprilfalling - xx at 1:17 PM | TrackBack

February 19, 2004

February 20th Film Releases

I survived the day of singleton hell, only to be met with a dearth of good movies. I looked and I looked and they are nowhere to be seen. My only hope is a lone Norwegian candidate.
Salad days these are not. Take an enormous risk with your $10 or go rent a movie. It's what capitalists refer to as "voting with dollars."

1) Kitchen Stories

No, I haven't lost my mind, I am just without options. I am really and truly recommending a Norwegian comedy about domestic life.
Think of it this way -- If this is what I'm recommending, then just imagine how much everything else must suck.

Welcome to Mooseport
A quaint little comedy about small town life (probably written and directed by a person who has never actually lived in a small town). This stars Ray Romano (block of wood) and Gene Hackman (vague recollection of acting superiority) as a local plumber and a former president vying for same mayoral office and eligible bachelorette.
I don't think there is a brand of weed strong enough to make find this amusing.

Eurotrip
Speaking of weed, how can you have a comedy about the experiences of young Americans in Europe without having a layover in Amsterdam? Then you'd have to go to France to abate your munchies and don't forget the absinthe. This probably goes through every cliché and predictable joke possible and then doesn't know when to stop.
Dude! I am so NOT seeing this movie!

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
The thing is, I know a few adult drama queens who would happily give me two hours of ranting and raving for free, so why would I waste my $10 on this pile of crap.

Against the Ropes
Meg Ryan is a feeble minded tool of Satan who must be stopped at all costs. It's actresses like her who can be blamed for the spawning of most bad movies. Think about it:
A bunch of stale movie executives deciding on the fate of future movies and they see one with Meg Ryan attached to it. They suddenly recall the hundreds of times their mistresses made them watch that movie about that insomniac in Seattle and are given the mistaken impression that she's a bankable lead. They greenlight the mediocre project, and forget about the stunning yet risky film project that should have gotten their money.
Financial democracy people! Don't forget you have a voice!

Kitchen Stories
Norway? I'm recommending a movie from Norway? Not only that, but it's a comedy set in the 50's about a team of researchers studying the domestic habits of male spinsters.
Think Ozzy without Harriet never meets Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

Clifford's Really Big Movie
If you have children and you must take them to a movie this weekend, then this is your best option. Even I remember reading about Clifford the big red dog growing up. To this day I still have fleeting fantasies about owning a Great Dane.

Posted by xx - Ms. Lauren - xx at 7:57 PM | TrackBack

February 15, 2004

Punk Rock Bowling 2004 Photo Essay has Launched!

You will show your love and devotion to Barflies.net all year long - smooch us, buys us nice bottles of wine or good drinks, visit the website often...

We have Launch. Punk Rock Bowling 2004 Photo Essay

Posted by Ms. Jen at 5:45 PM | TrackBack

February 14, 2004

Where are the Photos??? or Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day one and all. I am currently processing all the Punk Rock Bowling 2004 photos right now and will not be departing from my computer until they are done and launched. That's right, on Valentine's Day...

In payment for my love and dedication to you all, next time you see me give me dark chocolates (preferably Godiva), tell me you love me and give me a big hug.

p.s. The Message Board is back.
p.p.s. I work faster and better with chocolate...

Posted by Ms. Jen at 4:10 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 12, 2004

February 13th Film Releases

Not only is it supposed to be the unluckiest day of the year, but it's also the day before Valentines Day (a particularly unlucky day for me). Since I will be left unromanced by the opposite sex this weekend, I can at least ensure that the happy couples of the world don't pick bad movies.
If there's anything worse than spending a Hallmark holiday alone, it's spending it with someone and being miserable.

1) Monsieur Ibrahim
2) The Code
3) 50 First Dates (a grudging third)

French, French, and more French. I guess when the American film industry can't get it's act together enough to bring out any good movies, the French have to pick up the slack. Thank God Halliburton wasn't involved or they would have never been allowed in the country for theatrical release.
Let's hear it for free trade!

50 First Dates
A relationship avoiding serial dating veterinarian falls for a girl with short-term memory problems. Where most men with this problem would throw in the towel after being beaten to a pulp by aforementioned love interest, this one is a glutton for punishment. Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler were magical in The Wedding Singer, but they had the power of the 80's behind them then. Can they bring it home without the fuel of New Wave pop? Boy George and I have our doubts.

Highwaymen
A grief stricken widower roams the highways in search of the car that killed his wife. An action thriller with enough preposterous events to make me hurl. Not even Jesus can make me want to see this movie.

Monsieur Ibrahim
Omar Sharif stars as a Turkish deli owner in Paris who forms an unlikely friendship with a young Jewish boy during the 1960's. I don't know much beyond that, but it has received marvelous reviews and Sharif has aged gracefully since Doctor Zhivago and Funny Girl.

The Code
Another French film, only action packed. It's a familiar story - a man gets out of prison and tries to go straight, but only after he makes one last score. Sure you've heard that one before, but have you heard it in French? Oui or Non?

After the Life: Trilogy 3
And another French film. Remember the stupid prison escapee who returned home to hide? Well he's back. This time the story is told by the local chief of police whose wife is hiding the convict. Is that grounds for dismissal? It is certainly evidence of my not wanting to see it.

Robot Stories
A movie comprised of three science fiction stories about highly advanced robots interacting with the human world. It won 23 film festival awards, and which is one they choose to promote on it's website? The Special Jury Award for Emotional Truth from the Florida Film Festival. I didn't even know Florida had a film festival. This doesn't exactly inspire confidence.

The Umbrellas of Cherbourg
This is a digitally remastered re-release of a classic 1964 French musical which stars Catherine Deneuve as young woman pregnant with her absent lover’s child (he’s away at war). A rich patron of her mother's umbrella shop asks for her hand in marriage and offers to raise the child as his own. I'm sure many clichés are sung and danced their way through, which is why I won't be seeing it.

Posted by xx - Ms. Lauren - xx at 10:10 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Goodbye Java Lanes?

The Long Beach City Council approved a request today to build condos where the Java Lanes bowling alley now stands..... it is a sad day for bowlers and mid-century preservationists alike :-(

See the full article in the Gazette for more info

Posted by Lucky at 3:13 PM | TrackBack

February 10, 2004

Boys Gone Wild - Vegas Style!

The Annual Barflies.net Punk Rock Bowling Photos will be launched mid-day Friday, Feb. 13th.

In the meantime, as a teaser to the weekend of fun, bowling, dry nasal passages, and way too much debauchery.... I present Boys Gone Wild - Vegas Style.

All the below photos were take of the Hot, Luscioius Post-College Men of Punk Rock Bowling at the Awards Party / Manic Hispanic show on Sunday night, Feb. 8th.

As usual, all the men involved were all too happy to pull up their shirts. We did not have to resort to the tactics of certain film crews who ply college girls with drugs to get them to flash. It is truly beautiful that American Men are so willing on so little enticement to show their assets...

Posted by Ms. Jen at 11:42 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

February 6, 2004

Here We Go!

Rev your engines, All Bowlers prepare for Take Off! Wahooooooo.....

The Day has arrived: Day One of DIY Punk Rock Bowling 2004!

Posted by Ms. Jen at 8:56 AM | TrackBack

February 5, 2004

February 6th Film Releases

A surprising amount of movies are being released this week. I haven't seen this kind of an outpouring since Thanksgiving. The only thing is, I'm not sure what to make of these. Most of them are foreign films, I'm lucky if I've seen the trailers, and I've heard very little buzz about any of these.
Ever feel as though the pilot is blind? It's usually not a good sign.

1) City of God
2) The Dreamers
3) The Return

Last week a friend of mine balled me out for recommending The Big Bounce. He told me that I wasted two hours of his life. He stated that we were now even and that he could go back to picking movies again (he was in the hole ever since he picked Paycheck). He has a tendency to overreact and is lacking in the taste department, but what can I do? He's the only person I ever see movies with.

Barbershop 2: Back in Business
The gang's all here and trying to save their South Chicago neighborhood from corporate development. Didn't anyone tell them that you can't stop progress? Either sell out or get out. Ice Cube should know all about that mantra.

Miracle
Kurt Russell stars as the coach of the little hockey team that beat the dastardly Russians for the chance at the gold medal in the 1980 Olympics. I like hockey and I love underdog stories, but Kurt Russell hasn't made a good movie since Backdraft.

Catch That Kid
I might consider this a worthwhile movie, if I was twelve.

City of God
According to rumor, this movie from Brazil about the underbelly of Rio de Janeiro is the front-runner for the Best Foreign Film Oscar. Lots of crime, double crosses, drugs, sex, and violence - all the elements of an excellent film.

The Dreamers
Based in 1969, during one of the more turbulent times in French history, a pair of fraternal twins and a new found friend take over their parent's apartment and create a world onto themselves completely oblivious to the turmoil outside. While taking this little vacation from society they experiment sexually basing their ideas on the movies they love. People get hurt and eventually the world outside comes crashing in.
Maybe too high concept, but has a chance at being worthwhile.

Osama
What's this? An entry from Afghanistan? I thought we bombed them into the Stone Age? Interesting.
Anyways, a mother and daughter living under the Taliban are left with no choices in regards to their survival. So, the mother disguises her daughter as a boy so that she can go out and earn a living. Sometimes regime change is a good thing.

An Amazing Couple: Trilogy 2
A perfectly healthy man is convinced he needs a biopsy and his wife is so suspicious of him that she hires a private investigator. My opinion - they may deserve each other, but we do not deserve this movie.

Perfect Opposites
This may be the romantic comedy I recommend for Valentines Day. Two young, freshly minted college graduates with nothing in common fall in love and she follows him across the country so that he can take job at a law firm. Once they start living together the reality of their relationship kicks in and roses don't seem nearly as sweet.
Begs the eternal question of "is love ever truly enough?"

The Return
The father of two young boys returns after 10 years and tries to reinsert himself into the family. There are a lot of problems with this situation, but the biggest problem is that the demons that chased him away the first time are still following him.
It has some of the elements of a potentially good movie - crime, estranged families, issues to be confronted, and violence. Can a Russian movie be worth my $10? Anything is possible.
Das ve danya.

Posted by xx - Ms. Lauren - xx at 9:22 PM | TrackBack

February 4, 2004

AXF: 'Saving Grace'

i haven't posted in a while, but here's some AXF food for thought: (click to enlarge)

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Posted by xx - aprilfalling - xx at 9:36 AM | TrackBack

February 2, 2004

4 Days Until Lost Wages!

The Barflies.net team(s) have a tradition of spending the hour before we have to report to bowling getting all gussied up and drinking sangria, even if it is only 12 noon .... ;o)

Posted by Ms. Jen at 5:55 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

February 1, 2004

Hot Punk Rock Men! Only 5 Measly Little Days Until Punk Rock Bowling!

The Show Must Go On! Or at least the Punk Rock Bowling must go on... A little thing like the Castaways closing has not detered 424 bowling punk rockers, we will be at Sam's Town, in Las Vegas, this upcoming weekend for our annual tournament.

We will bowl in two shifts, 1-4pm and 9-11:30pm, on Saturday, and then the best 32 teams will go to the finals on Sunday. Please come on down and cheer the two Barflies.net teams on!

Posted by Ms. Jen at 11:07 PM | TrackBack