The Pervz @ The Brigg - 9/30/05

Things are a little dull around her without Miss Jen, so my date and I went over to Alex's Bar to see what was up. Alex was sober and checking ids at the door with CJ. The Adolescents were playing, so she was settling in for a long night of Spot the Fake ID. People kept coming up and squealing "OH MY GOD. How are you holding up without Jen?!" and I kept thinking they were talking to me, before I realized they were talking to Alex. This was only mildly annoying, so I decided we had to leave. Anyway, I was feeling claustrophobic and it was 9:05.

We went for burritos at Chronic Taco and then over to The Brigg to see The Pervz, a band I had heard a lot about. "Have I seen The Pervz?" I asked. "No" answered my date. I like it when someone else can keep my memories straight.

Now, I like The Brigg. It's wonderfully decorated and has strong drinks and good air conditioning (too good, so if you don't like your hair blowing in the icy cold draft, bring a sweater). But there are just too damn many "beach people" there. Beach people really think that flip flops are a real shoe. Beach people think that chunky highlights are still in. And beach people think that really bad (ie, cheap, poorly done) boob jobs are a good thing. You always think that something interesting might happen at The Brigg. A bar fight. A good band. But no. Every time I walk into The Brigg I'm in a good mood, and within an hour I'm comatose with boredom and irritation. Not good.

Last night was no exception. Some metal band played first. They said they were German, which explains a lot, but is still no excuse. Then it took The Pervz about 90 minutes to set up. I amused myself by looking at the flyers on the ceiling and reminiscing about shows I had been to at Safari Sam's. Then I tried to imagine all the things The Pervz were doing backstage or in the van that were taking so long. Shortening their pants. Eating pizza. Picking nits off each other like monkeys. Doing their hair. Having a circle jerk. Eventually, I got really bored and more tired. The date and I couldn't talk to each other because the dj was so loud. The dj kept mixing in bands like the Rolling Stones with the old school punk rock. Bad. Bad. Bad. It's cool to mix in AC/DC and ironic to throw on some Kiss between the Damned and the Sex Pistols. But the Rolling Stones? What's next, Led Zeppelin? Please. That dj was more concerned with his hair than his levels, and if you're a dj, you know what I'm talking about.

note: I am much too lazy to take pictures, so I took this from The Pervz website. Thanks, Pervz!

But back to The Pervz. They are cute. Really cute. They're a trio, which is just cute! And there's a tall one, a short one, and a goofy one (the drummer). They wear matching tennis shoes! How cute it that? They have an amazing fashion aesthetic that is sort of like the Briefs but less 80s. Very cute. And since the bass player and guitarist are brothers, I think they buy the same size Dickies. And since one is short and one is tall, this has an interesting effect. But cute.

However, their music is not all that interesting, I must say, although the crowd loved them. Or maybe they were just tired of doing nothing but listening to scratchy Misfits records played at ear-splitting volume. I'm not sure. The Pervz website is full of quotes from reviewers who call them totally hook-laden. I couldn't find a hook in The Brigg at all that night. Not a one. I think there was a song called "Pieces of You" that people were singing along to. I'm not sure how anyone sang along, because the songs had no real structure to latch on to, but I'm an old bitter ex-punk and this is a fact. I can sing you 20 X songs right now, because they all have hooks, but I couldn't tell you what a single Pervz song sounds like. I don't mean for this to be a bad review, because I did have fun, in a sort of really bored teenage way. There was no cover, someone else bought the drinks, the band was cute. I look forward to seeing The Pervz again somewhere other than The Brigg.