Record Weirdo: Yard Sale Country Bonanza - July 2003!
By Kevin Hillskemper
Yard
sales are to record collecting what slot machines are to gambling. Sophisticated
gamblers will have nothing to do with slot machines, but out-of-control
sickos are unable to resist any opportunity to gamble. The risk is low
but so is the payoff. Big jackpots happen once in a while, but as a rule
they don’t.
On second thought, maybe yard sales are more like “go fish”
or “tag”. They could also be like a meatloaf sandwich. Who
cares?
Yard sales are good, as long as you don’t go too often or take them
seriously. Saturdays are not meant to be wasted going through some stranger’s
box of dumb records.
As a rule, most people have no idea what records are worth so pricing is purely arbitrary; a buck here, a quarter there. Some people price them ridiculously high thinking that all records are “collectable”. Contrary to popular belief, most Beatles records are not worth a lot of money. No one will pay 100 bucks for a copy of “Sgt. Pepper” that your cat buried or a “Yesterday and Today” album with the cover torn half off in hopes that it was a butcher-block paste-over. If you don’t know what a “butcher-block paste-over” is, consider yourself lucky – you are not a record geek.
There are zillions of beat-up old Beatles records out there. They are not rare.
As a rule, I don’t haggle very much. I might ask to round it off a little if I’m buying in bulk, but I won’t offend anybody by offering twelve cents for a good two-dollar record.
I like to buy stuff I’ve never heard of. I’ve learned a lot that way about types of music that I didn’t grow up listening to. If the cover looks interesting and/or the songs have titles like “Leprosy Blues” or “Baby, Take Your Teeth Out,” it’s worth at least 50 cents to me. If a record has excessive bongos or marimbas, consider it sold.
At a recent yard sale, I bought a box of 220-odd (mostly) country and western 45’s for 15 bucks. They looked like radio station surplus. A lot of them were white-label promos and most looked unplayed. Still, it wasn’t one of the best deals that I ever made. I’m not proud and I’m not ashamed. Will I ever listen to them all? No.
Anyway, here’s how the haul breaks down:
*About 60 records are major-label “mainstream” country from the 70’s and early 80’s. Of these 60, 10 are good and 50 are crap. Among the good ones are some Waylon Jennings, some George Jones, and a few Johnny Cash. There are two copies of Johnny’s 1976 hit “One Piece at a Time” which, I believe, contains the first recorded use of the term “psychobilly”. Historic.
*25 records fall into the “classic country” category from the 50’s and 60’s. Some go back even further, like Bob Wills, the Sons of the Pioneers, and Bob Sandy and the International Cowboys, but there are only a few. Some of the recognizable later names are Merle Kilgore, who co-wrote “Ring of Fire”, and Dick Curless, who did a bunch of great “trucker” songs. Someday I might write a piece about the fascinating “trucker” genre, but not today.
*5 records are complete oddballs. Not necessarily strange, but just out of place. Or, as Jimi Hendrix said “not necessarily stoned, but beautiful”. The best in this category, and possibly in the entire lot, is Scatman Crothers singing “The Fool”. This is the same Lee Hazlewood song that Robert Gordon recorded, but the Scatman does it much, much better.
*The remainder of this haul, some 80 or so records, consist of completely unknown performers doing songs you’ve never heard on labels you’ve never heard of. This is rare stuff. Is there a name for this? I don’t think so. “Pre-Alt-Country”? Ick.
These records are basically demos or self-releases from the early to mid-70’s by wanna-be country stars of yesterday. Most of them say “DJ Copy” or “Promotional Use Only” on them all official-like. It’s probable that many of these artists never recorded again. Some are derivative and unoriginal. However a lot of them fall somewhere between the song-poem/MSR genre (available on a series of compilations from Carnage Press) and the “outsider art” of Hasil Adkins, Mrs. Miller, Wesley Willis, etc…
By the way, is it me or does the term “outsider art” stink? It sounds so condescending and smarmy. To refer to these artists as “hideous freaks” might seem more dignified and politically correct. But enough of my yacking, here are some highlights.
*Ken McNeal – “Rock & Roll Man” b/w “Mountains”
The a-side is an up-tempo blues-rock toe-tapper. The words are mumbly
and don’t make any sense, but there is an amazing fuzz-tone lead
guitar screaming through the entire song. The b-side is not so good -
generic early-70’s back-to-nature drivel. Poor John Denver, he didn’t
mean to do any harm.
*Charlie Wiggs – “In the Middle”
Cool. A truck-driving bigamist song. Lots of potential.
*Guy Drake – “Born To Be an Opry Star” b/w “Politickin’
Pete”
Both of these are actually clever and funny “talking blues”
type songs. He sounds about 100 years old at the time, so I doubt he’s
still around.
*Rick White – “Truck Drivin’ Man” b/w “Kevin”
“Truck Drivin’ Man” sounds exactly how it should. Sample
lyric: “ I didn’t get much sleep, these hills are steep, and
I just popped my last pill”. The b-side is titled “Kevin”.
Other than “Cousin Kevin” by the Who, I don’t know of
any other songs with my first name in the title. It sounds like a Red
Sovine song covered by the Amazing Criswell but the song itself is too
sad to even make fun of. However, it does have some great lines. My favorite
is “Self-pity is a relentless beast that gnaws and eats you alive”.
I’m going to steal that. Nobody will suspect a thing.
*Lewis Pruitt – “Son of the Rich”
Good name. Great title.
*Tommy
Hawk – “Four Fingers and a Bum”
Brilliant name. Intriguing and slightly disturbing title.
*Billy Wayne and the Nashville Rejects – “Meaning of the
Blues” b/w “Curtains for Hurtin’ (that’s for certain)”
Ho-hum. I expected more with a band name like that. The name of the label
here is “WASP” and I suspect that they have more in common
with the reactionary politics of Pat Buchanan than the spark-spewing-crotch
theatrics of Blackie Lawless. Or is it the other way around? Never mind.
They’re the same person anyway.
*Chris Aaron – “Hollywood Trash” b/w “Sam’s
Café”
I can’t make hide nor hair of this whiny, pretentious doggerel.
It’s some kind of country/folk/lite rock hybrid with sensitive,
self-righteous lyrics. So bad that it might require repeated listenings.
*Mitch Sanders – “Seven Years in San Quinten” (sic)
More of an old folk ballad than a country song. I suspect he might be
doing time for bad spelling. Very thin, quivery voice. If Bob Dylan were
a ventriloquist, this is what his dummy would sound like. Not bad.
*Wes Buchanan – “Brazos Quicksand” b/w “Unbreakable
Heart”
A-side is a blatant rip-off of Marty Robbins’ “El Paso”.
It’s brilliant actually.
The b-side comes up with some very awkward and unusual rhymes for the
word “unbreakable”. I like it.
*Ronnie McDowall – “Here Comes the Reason I Live”
Hey, how did this get in here? This guy is one of my favorite Elvis impersonators.
Dynamic.
*Red Williams – “The Wall” b/w “Jesus Jones”
Strange, very strange. Creepy, peppy, electric piano with heavy religious
overtones.
*Mel Street – “Lovin’ on Back Streets”
Cheatin’ song.
*Billy Glenn – “Don’t Tell Me About Heartaches”
Another cheatin’ song.
*Tommy Hancock – “Our Last Rendezvous”
A “sex with the ex” cheatin’ song.
*Jim Shaw – “Miss Polly Brown”
No more cheatin’ songs. This is a nice wholesome song about prostitution.
*Hazel Joy – “Country Style”
Hot diggety! A yodelin’ record! I’m happier than a hillbilly
kraut on cough syrup.
*Ray Hendrix – “Smile of a Clown”
The old suicidal clown story. I could hear more songs like this.
*Jimmy Angel and the Sounds of Memphis – ‘Nobody’s
Perfect”
The vocal sounds like it was recorded in a truck-stop bathroom after two
weeks on an all cheese diet.
*Rowdy Valley – “Keep on Doin’ it Wrong (‘til
You’re Doin’ It Right)”
Okay, here’s the gimmick – this guy is singing through a megaphone
like Rudy Vallee did in the ‘20’s. Rowdy sounds like Rudy,
get it? Latter-day performers like Tom Waits and Michael Stipe tried the
megaphone thing too. It wasn’t that cool.
*Mike Beagles – “She Don’t Care Now”
Vibrato-rama. To say that this guy sounds like Jello Biafra on helium
operating a pneumatic drill would not be entirely accurate, but I’ll
write it anyway.
Get the idea?
No more yard sales. Ever.
Self-pity is a relentless beast that gnaws and eats you alive.
A quick word on seeing X at the Anaheim House of Blues on May 9th. It
was the same show that they’ve been doing for the last 5 years,
but it’s still good. I really enjoyed Slim Jim and the Phantom Trio,
who played before X. They did mostly covers of rockabilly standards and
they did them very well. The crowd went wild when bassist Lee Rocker joined
them for one song.
The significance of this event was not lost on me. What took place was
a two-thirds reunion of one of the best bands of the ‘80’s.
Of course I’m referring to Phantom, Rocker, and Slick.